LittleBIGdistraction from the Real World.

Last Friday, I picked up a copy of LittleBIGplanet for the PS3. I'd been looking forward to this game for quite a while and was massively disappointed when its clusterfuck release was inevitably pushed back.

If you haven't played LBP yet, and you own a PS3, you need to seriously reevaluate your life. This game is a bargain at list price because (in theory) it can be any game and every game that you want. That being said, I picked up a used copy for almost $20 less. Obviously the previous owner was too busy masturbating on his own stomach over how big the guns are in Resistance 2 to be even remotely creative.

Some of my favorite parts of games (aside from the sex and violence, of course) is the ability to CREATE. I love playing as well-known meatheads in sports games; however, putting myself and my fellow douchebags into the game adds a certain sense of vanity to the experience.

Fuck, with all my levels pushed to the MAX, I'm a much better pitcher than Cole Hamels anyway!
LittleBIGplanet is an Engineer's wet dream (if he happens to be a gamer) and a ridiculously amazing open sketchbook for Artists.

In LBP, you play as a fully customizable character (or race of people) called "Sackboy." It's an adorable little guy, not unlike a sock monkey, or a doll that your senile, palsy-ridden grandmother knits you that looks terrifying but you lie and say it's "adorable."

Throughout the game, you collect add ons to your Sackboy as well as items and trinkets that you can stick to yourself, levels, and other players (if you're a cunt).

And what's the purpose of an online game if you can't be a total fucking cunt ALL OF THE TIME?

That being said, the game is completely wholesome and FUN for EVERYONE and sometimes you actually feel BAD about being a cunt. Then you realize that even though it looks like your playing against children, you're actually playing against 40 year olds in their parents basement, and cunts just like YOU.

You always hear "This is a game you could play with your mom" regarding simplistic children's games; however, some questions, if I may.
1. Who's playing video games with my mom?
2. Stop playing video games with my mom!

Moms shouldn't be playing video games unless it's Tetris, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, or anything on the Wii.

LittleBIGplanet is rated "E for Everyone", but it should be rated "E for Everyone but your Stupid Kids."
It's a cute, childish game, but it's fucking HARD and COMPLEX (at times). In the same respect, no one should ever play Mega Man while drunk, angry, or suicidal, because you WILL frustrate yourself into violence.
(Why was I so good at Mega Man as a kid, and now I suck balls at everything??!!)

I haven't completed LBP yet, but I probably never will. I have made it my life goal to find all of the trinkets within the game--and anyone who has ever had to find trinkets within a game (without cheating) knows that this is practically impossible.

Once you've had your fair share of trinkets, stickers, bits and bobs...you can start creating your OWN levels for your friends and Online community to play. The Stage Creator is FUCKING LIMITLESS and that makes it FUCKING AWESOME.
But don't expect to jump right in because there is a "Lord of the Rings Extended Trilogy"-length of tutorials before you start. And you WILL need them ALL.

LittleBIGplanet has taken over my life, and I hope that it takes over yours as well. I can't close my eyes without seeing the game...it's like the first time you play Guitar Hero. And, like Guitar Hero, it's much much more fun with a friend. In fact, the game FORCES you to find a friend or you can't possibly get all of the prizes it offers. So, suck it!

All in all, LBP should be at the top of any respectable critic's list as well as a damn good reason for undecided gamers to take a shot in the mouth and buy a Playstation 3.
The graphics are smooth and beautiful, the sound and music is perfect, it's FUNNY...Even though it has no specific STORY LINE, it still holds your attention because of how much you get to do.

This game almost DEFINES video games, and what video games used to be compared to where they are today.
I wouldn't want EVERY video game to be as involved as LittleBIGplanet, but you can sense all of the work that went into it and you appreciate it so much more after you accept that your real life is over, and your new life exists on a planet much like your own...only Little...and Big.


--Alex (over and out)