So, my vagina is pretty epic. Yeah I said it, I have an epic vagina. No, this is not something self-proclaimed, I'm just told this. With that said, I would like to introduce myself...
Hi, my name is JessieLee (yes, I prefer it as one word), and I am a professional vagina model.
Alex and Dave have been stalking, uh I mean "following" me on Twitter, and found me to be pretty interesting.
They asked me to write a little segment for their blog.
So, here it is: My Top 5. :)
I get a lot of interesting, but mostly disturbing, emails on the regular. For some reason, guys always think I will, like, fall in love with them or something if they send me a super-creepy email. I would like to share with you the "Top 5 Creepiest Emails" I have received.
Enjoy! :)
1. "I bought a stroker off the web site and everytime I watch a DVD from Burning Angel I forward to your scene and jack off.
I bet I've pumped a few gallons of dick sauce in that thing thanks to you - you're my favorite Angel. I think you have the best attitude and the best bod, my cock is popping out of the top of my boxers just thinking of you. love & pussy wrecking fucks"
At least he didn't send me the "dick sauce" that he mentioned. I guess Dana DeArmond is the only lucky one.
2. "If i lived in nyc i would b at ur party getin body shots tha whole time and my tounge on ur clit would b ur gift from me"
Aw really? He is too sweet. How could I pass down such an offer, right?
3. "you think that with a cock like this i can do porn?"
Attached was a photo of a penis laying on a laptop. Ugh...
4. "I'm having alot of trouble finding work and am getting desprate iv only got one more unemployment check comming then im basicly up shits creek i have alot of experience doing electrical work i dont know if you could foward my number to anyone needing any kind of work done ill do anything at this point carry speakers set up sound systems lighting (etc..etc..ad nauseum)"
I didn't respond to this email, so he wrote me again.
"***-**** is my number name is rich thanks."
Me: "I am not an agent. Find your own work. Thanks."
"lol ok im just fucking desprate and trying to find something in the entertainment industry."
The subject line was his phone number and "im just fucking desperate." I proceeded to block him.
5. "do you do private sessions?"
Me: "what do you mean?"
"umm...like basically what you'd be doing if you were shooting a scene, and getting paid accordingly.....but in private...and no camera.."
Me: "i am not a hooker."
Yeah, I blocked him too lol.
6. "hey there ...let me know about this idea ...we can do a 3 some {2 guys one girl} and we can both suck dick and i will take the load ...or i can be the first male to do a bukake video? that could be a big seller? any ideas? or things you want to try."
He then felt the need to get even more desperate by emailing me again...
"hey there ...how are you? not to sound to needy lol but i lost my job i use to work for a big time bank making good money but not any more and i would like to shoot full time. i have done close to 20 films so i know what i am doing but if you can help me out with any conections or anything"
Dude.. I am not your agent. Why do guys always ask me for work?? Needless to say, I blocked him also.
--Okay, so I listed 6. I had to include the last one, I really did. Number one rule when emailing me:
DO NOT ASK ME TO GET YOU INTO PORN IF YOU ARE A GUY.
I will not take your email seriously. I will, however, take you seriously if you tell me how amazingly beautiful I am. ;)
--Jessie Lee (Honorary Super Dudette!!)
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