When Alex and Dave put out the word that they were looking for a few guest-bloggers (hooray, Twitter!), I took the bait and drafted a lengthy blog about why women do the things they do. I polled a few random dudes and although they came up with some interesting questions('Are thongs really comfortable?'), I scrapped the whole thing.Well... said 'scrapping' was not my idea. Rather, my BlackBerry ate it. (College slackers everywhere - take notes. Dogs do not eat homework. Electronics do!)
Hence, the story of the awful BlackBerry was born.
In recent years, the BlackBerry has transformed from the business man's pixilated email generator to a socialite necessity. Stuck at a mind-numbing business conference? Check out the RSS feed from PerezHilton.com! Stranded on the train? Vent all your frustrations on Twitter! Change of plans? Update everyone via Facebook!
We've all got them now - attorneys, college students, even the perpetually angry metal kid standing outside the Khyber (true story). And Hollywood can't get enough of their diamond encrusted BlackBerrys (I'm pretty sure there is a website dedicated to celebutards and their Berrys). Who knew Research In Motion could cram the entirety of our lives into the palms of our hands?
Being a gadget freak myself (yes, yes... and a whiny, needy girl), I just had to have one. I wouldn't take no for an answer and I will most definitely stomp, pout, and pull hair if need be. Alas, I trotted down to my local wireless store and picked out my very own BlackBerry Pearl and sensible silicone cover to go with it (okay...fine. It was hot pink). Nearly a year went by and the joy and elation of Gmail in my hand had yet to wear off. We skipped off tothe west coast together, to the Jersey shore, and all the way to Jamaica. Boy oh boy, this BlackBerry kicked ass.
And then... the honeymoon was over. Merrily sitting around a bonfire,with beer and BlackBerry in hand, I pushed a few buttons to check the weather. And there it was. Porn. Wha – PORN!? But this is a phone. I HAVE PHONE PORN!? They can DO that!?
I didn't even know they HAD phone porn…
When the initial shock had subsided (and everyone had a good, haaarrrrddd look at the oiled-up blonde on the screen), I tried to make amends with my Berry.
We tried rigorous counseling (thanks for nothing, Verizon), home remedies, and a whole lot of TLC, but one thing was for sure – my hot pink BlackBerry had taken a turn for the worse...
Memory shortages, disappearing messages, that really fucking irritating animated hourglass… it's become clear that this media-packed phone is just not interested with keeping up with the Jones'.
What a waste. I truly had high regards for RIM phones, but it saddens me to say that I bought a piece of junk. I've heard others gripe about the Pearl, and plenty of techno geeks will rattle off their arguments for and against. What drew me to the tiniest of the BlackBerrys was… well, it's tiny-ness. Who wants to look like they're talking into a fat pad of Post-Its? So, in true womanly fashion, I traded necessities (i.e., memory) for vanity (i.e., OMG that's so0o0o cute!). However, I've learned a very good lesson here – I should have held out for that new-fangled Google phone.
Dammit.
--ViciousKris (Honorary Super Dudette)
Hence, the story of the awful BlackBerry was born.
In recent years, the BlackBerry has transformed from the business man's pixilated email generator to a socialite necessity. Stuck at a mind-numbing business conference? Check out the RSS feed from PerezHilton.com! Stranded on the train? Vent all your frustrations on Twitter! Change of plans? Update everyone via Facebook!
We've all got them now - attorneys, college students, even the perpetually angry metal kid standing outside the Khyber (true story). And Hollywood can't get enough of their diamond encrusted BlackBerrys (I'm pretty sure there is a website dedicated to celebutards and their Berrys). Who knew Research In Motion could cram the entirety of our lives into the palms of our hands?
Being a gadget freak myself (yes, yes... and a whiny, needy girl), I just had to have one. I wouldn't take no for an answer and I will most definitely stomp, pout, and pull hair if need be. Alas, I trotted down to my local wireless store and picked out my very own BlackBerry Pearl and sensible silicone cover to go with it (okay...fine. It was hot pink). Nearly a year went by and the joy and elation of Gmail in my hand had yet to wear off. We skipped off tothe west coast together, to the Jersey shore, and all the way to Jamaica. Boy oh boy, this BlackBerry kicked ass.
And then... the honeymoon was over. Merrily sitting around a bonfire,with beer and BlackBerry in hand, I pushed a few buttons to check the weather. And there it was. Porn. Wha – PORN!? But this is a phone. I HAVE PHONE PORN!? They can DO that!?
I didn't even know they HAD phone porn…
When the initial shock had subsided (and everyone had a good, haaarrrrddd look at the oiled-up blonde on the screen), I tried to make amends with my Berry.
We tried rigorous counseling (thanks for nothing, Verizon), home remedies, and a whole lot of TLC, but one thing was for sure – my hot pink BlackBerry had taken a turn for the worse...
Memory shortages, disappearing messages, that really fucking irritating animated hourglass… it's become clear that this media-packed phone is just not interested with keeping up with the Jones'.
What a waste. I truly had high regards for RIM phones, but it saddens me to say that I bought a piece of junk. I've heard others gripe about the Pearl, and plenty of techno geeks will rattle off their arguments for and against. What drew me to the tiniest of the BlackBerrys was… well, it's tiny-ness. Who wants to look like they're talking into a fat pad of Post-Its? So, in true womanly fashion, I traded necessities (i.e., memory) for vanity (i.e., OMG that's so0o0o cute!). However, I've learned a very good lesson here – I should have held out for that new-fangled Google phone.
Dammit.
--ViciousKris (Honorary Super Dudette)
I thought asking if thongs were really comfortable was a legitimate question. So sue me.
ReplyDeleteIt is. Which is why I included an image of the man who made a career based on the popular women's fashion. ^_^
ReplyDeleteI'm a girl and I still don't know why I do the things I do, so fix the stupid blackberry and find that blog!
ReplyDeleteThis article is crum-believable!
ReplyDelete